Waiting for...?

Wednesday and we're already halfway through this week (as if it matters anyway). I was supposed to have a sample of my blood examined today, but it never happened. I went to the hospital and started waiting for my turn when I realized that there were around fifty other patients waiting in line before me. Great. I tried to find another hospital nearby where I could go instead, but it wasn't possible today. The walk to and back from the hospital made me tired and I could feel how the four months of inactivity have affected my body. Another depressing reminder.

It's past eleven o'clock in the evening and I am extremely bored. I'm not feeling sleepy and I'm not in the mood to read or to watch a movie. I just miss my girl. I miss her very much.

Most of my friends complain when they have to spend more than one or two weeks with their parents (during holidays, vacations etc.). I have been around for four months and I am confused. I am grateful and happy that I have someplace to be during this situation and all. I am glad that I am being taken cared of, but you reach a certain degree of independency and privacy when you move out of your parents' joint. Moving abroad adds to your feelings of being independent. I'm not sure what to feel at the moment. I miss the tempo and independence of the past. I miss the success and the stress that came with it. At the same time I'm afraid of it and I'm sometimes completely uninterested in returning to that world. It's confusing.

Tomorrow is a new day, but I am pretty sure that it will be a day filled with insignificance and boredom. It will be filled with emptiness and there will be more time for contemplating life and its great mystery. Can't wait.