Contrasts

Back in Austria - ready for kick-off.

It's warm and, sunny (oh well...) and inspiring to be here again. I'm stoked about having left the winter and snow behind me for sunny days and blue skies.
Before:

After:

(S)NO(W)

It's cold, it's snowing and it won't stop!

Reaching the end

It is slowly getting time for me to return back to Austria after a little more than three weeks in Sweden again. It has done me well to see my family and a limited number of my friends again. It has done me well to come back home and sleep in my own bed, drink my coffee out of my own cup and take a shower in my own shower. I know the streets, I know the language and I know my life in Sweden pretty well by now. I have not had to live like a stranger like I did during the three months in Austria. However, despite my happiness about being back home, I am happy about returning to Austria. I am happy about returning to my girlfriend, to my friends and to my studies. I am returning back to Sweden shortly, so as soon as I start feeling homesick I'll already be sitting on a plane back home again. No worries in other words. It's only three weeks left of the semester. There are a few parties left to attend, a prom and possibly one major football game. 2010 has just begun!

Merry Christmas

It's one day left till Christmas eve and the snow has covered the surroundings just as it should this time of the year. It's beautiful and it is original.

The past few weeks have been hectic and I have experienced many nice things. Not long ago I attended "Broker's Festival", a party organized by (from what I have been told) a conservative (and pretty right oriented...) youth organization in Austria - Austro Danubia.

This party was unique. The prices in the bars were adjusted after the supply and demand. Several projectors were constantly showing graphs and prices throughout the whole evening. It was a very interesting experience and I had the luck to attend the party with good company!

This party was arranged the last weekend before the Christmas holidays. A lot of people went on a ski trip the next morning and after that it was pretty much time for departure for most of us. We had one more "Stammtisch", the Asian one, and the night after that we all went out to eat at a Thai restaurant (I don't really know why we picked that place). After having said goodbye to most of my friends, I went home around eleven in the evening, and three o'clock the next morning I got up to begin my trip back home to Sweden. After almost one week back home in Sweden, I miss Austria and I am looking forward to returning. Unfortunately a lot of friends have left the country, most probably to never return again. I will miss the Americans and Canadians! Fortunately, there are still many friends left and most importantly, Nicole will be there :).

Being home means many things. Mainly it is about catching up with family. Most friends are out of town or busy with their own lives (which is something I sympathize with). The holidays are here and I will try to get some rest. Thank you for following and Merry Christmas :).

Back home

After a little more than three months, I am back in Sweden for a few weeks. The Christmas holidays are here and we are all taking a break from studying (oh well...) for some time with our families and friends.

In a larger perspective, three months is really nothing. I feel like these three months have been one months at the very most. I have dealt with many challenges this fall (and winter), and I am still battling many challenges (just like most normal people). Echoes from my past dare me to fight and I am haunted by nightmares. I don't want to make this sound as if I am going through something extraordinary, because this is how my life has been for some time now. I wake up almost every night, sweating and frightened by similar patterns and messages that I receive through my dreams. I don't know how long it will take for me to be rid of fear, disappointment and the anger that I am bearing, but I try to move on by embracing the good things in life.

Being home means no surprises, and that is a good thing I guess. You know what to expect and what to focus on. I always have a good feeling about returning home, but I must admit that I am feeling more and more tempted to try my wings elsewhere after my return to Sweden this summer. Right now I am not really looking forward to returning to Linköping for the concluding chapter of my studies. Being abroad has helped me a lot, despite the bad memories from last year and everything that happened back then. I see more and more friends from elementary- or high school settling down in the suburbs of Stockholm, some of them even with newborns in one hand. I cannot see myself anywhere near such life at the moment, it is something I want to avoid as things are right now.

It is Christmas times, meaning a lot of stress and expenses (I am very cynical today). It (could) mean being close to your loved ones and enjoying a very cozy and rewarding chapter of the year. Probably for the first time ever, I just want to be alone, in peace and without any pressure or disturbance. I have not told many friends about being back home, and that has nothing to do about my feelings for my friends. I have just had the toughest year in my life and I have been close to death on more than one occasion during this year. I need to find myself again. When I return to Sweden this summer, I want to have something to be happy about, because right now I am not sure I do.

Off to Austria

Alright, I'm leaving town early tomorrow morning for a well needed (and deserved) break from Sweden (again). I'm spending one week in Austria to catch up with some friends and most importantly, to spend time with my girlfriend.

See you soon!

December is here

December is here and the sun is shining. I got back from my midterm exam (after a short stop at my girlfriend's). I don't know how it went but hopefully well.

Anyhow, December is as I mentioned earlier here and it feels surreal. One year has passed since Dalia's wedding (congratulations again!) and Francisco turned 21 yesterday (congratulations again). Grande!

I have less and less scheduled lectures and seminars, but I still have a lot of work to do. Papers in particular. I find it inspiring despite the heavy workload.

Tonight we are arranging the Nordic Stammtisch, meaning that the Norwegian, Swedish, Finnish and the Dutch exchange students are preparing food at the student pub. The Dutch exchange student joined us because of.... I can't remember why, but nevertheless, it will be nice to have her with us.

I am planning to wear my Sweden jersey, I mean who could guess that I represent Sweden? Sara will borrow my other Sweden jersey. It's extremely amusing that we both represent Sweden while none of us are native Swedes. I guess we are great representatives of the new Sweden. People here refer to me as either "Roger" or "Zlatan"...


Nevertheless, I am extremely proud to be a representative of Sverige. I am looking forward to enjoy a cold one tonight, celebrating my A paper from last week.

Thank you for reading.

Rainy Sunday

I've actually needed to remain silent for one week, that's why I haven't posted anything since last Sunday. I have been through something significant and beautiful. It is perhaps too early to label this experience, so I'll wait.

My throat hurts and I am sick, but it's OK. This week went fast and my business courses finally begun. You can't miss your first lecture in a course here, because if you will, you lose your spot. Missing any random lecture throughout the whole course could mean a failed grade. New experiences all the time. Nevertheless: It is interesting and inspiring!

Sweden played Portugal last night at Råsunda and the game ended 0 - 0. I am proud because Sweden played well against a strong team like Portugal, but I wish we had won.



Iran is to play North Korea and one of our best players throughout history has now declared that he retires from his international football career. Ali Karimi will not be wearing the Iranian jersey. After more than 100 caps and some 40 goals he is throwing in the towel. I can understand him. He has been in the service of the national team for over a decade and the federation has not been run be proper people once during this period. He has been banned by his own federation several times for violations that don't exist anywhere else in the world. It's a huge blow for Iranian football to not be having Ali in the team anymore, but I hope that his retirement won't be in vain. I hope that people realize that this is the price we have to pay if the current kind of people are to runt one of the holiest and most appreciated assets of the Iranian people.


It's Sunday morning and I am looking forward to a rainy day consisting of studying and a walk along the Danube. I think I'll make that a routine from now on. Last week it was truly beautiful.

Last day at work today. It felt good and I feel well about my work. I reflect upon a job well done. Three months went by so fast.

I leave Sweden for a year of studies in Austria in one week. This is my last week in Sweden for a while. It's the biggest challenge that has aroused in my life this far, and I am enthusiastic about stepping up to it. It is going to be different and interesting at the same time. I careful not to expect too much from this year though. I don't want to be disappointed if it becomes evident that life in Sweden is better than life in Austria.


Whatever. Sweden enter the qualifications for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa tomorrow. An away game against Albania is waiting and I am optimistic about the result. Zlatan is back and Henrik Larsson is the new capitano. I am not convinced that Sweden will make it all the way through the qualification campaign, but I sincerely hope that I am wrong.


It's Friday night and I am planning to just relax and to do nothing. Maybe I'll watch a movie later. I have no urge to go out tonight. I just want to spend my last days in peace and quiet. I want to spend some quality time with friends and family.
Tomorrow I'll start looking for a suitcase...

Club loyalty

This guy seems to be a nice guy. Take a close look at him. His eyes are innocent, his teeth are white (and not yellow), his cap is a piece of modern fashion and his look is humble.

This is Robinho, one of the latest players on the international scene to bite the hand that feeds him. That's gratitude.

He said himself that he wanted to play for Chelsea (don't ask me why). He said at a press conference that he couldn't think about anything else but Chelsea. He ended up in Manchester City. I guess their offer was better than Chelsea's but this is exactly the point I am trying to hit, there is no love for the badge anymore, no loyalty in modern football. Those who love their clubs and who stay irregardless of the stature are getting less and less. The likes of Steven Gerrard, John Terry, Alessandro Del Piero, Francesco Totti, Carles Puyol, Javier Zanetti and Raúl Gonzales are rare.


We all witnessed Cristiano Ronaldo's cry for a club change earlier this summer. And all this after one of the most mighty achievements in the Premiership, more than 40 scored goals, a league title and a Champions League title (after a dramatic win over the fierce rivals Chelsea). Sir Alex handpicked Ronaldo from Portugal after the David Bekham sale, and Sir Alex made him the star he is today. Now the crybaby wants to leave Old Trafford. That's gratitude.

The tragic thing is that this behavior exists even in Swedish football. Youngsters are so eager to leave the country for a better paycheck that they piss on the club, the fans and the country in order to get themselves out of there. Talented youngsters such as Dusan Djuric (a clown who thought the world of himself and eventually ended up in Zürich...) and Dulee Johnson (another clown that played for AIK and was sold to an Israeli club a few weeks ago) have made asses out of themselves on this unimportant and pathetic football scene.
All this for 15 minutes of fame and a few bucks to buy a lifestyle with.

A few comments on the game

• The Swedish team played much better that I thought it would. The last minute goal was unlucky, and Hansson (my favourite player to hate) did well throughout the whole 90 minutes. All except for the last incident where he fucked up pretty bad and gave David Villa the opportunity to score.
• Fredrik Stoor is in my opinion a much better right back than Niclas Alexandersson and he should be a first team regular. What a way to enter a national team!
  
• My second favourite player to hate, Mikael Nilsson did really well today. He used to play on the right flank, mainly on the midfield. He was moved to the right back position and he didn't whine. Later he was lifted over to the left back position and he still didn't whine. Is this what they call progress?
• Marcus Rosenberg, why can't this guy perform well in the national jersey? He is a quality player in Bundesliga but a mediocre player on the international scene.
• Henrik Larsson is showing signs of being old for the first time. The quickness and the pace is gone.
• Zlatan Ibrahimovic, what can I say? It feels really good to be an Interista with him onboard.
• Olof Mellberg, I'm having World Cup 2002 vibes. He will do well for Juventus the coming season.
• Freddie Ljungberg, an underestimated player with great features.
• David Villa is one of the best strikers around at the moment. What a player.
• Fernando Torres has done a good job in Liverpool the past year, and he is one of the very best in the world elite. The thing that I hate about him is his diving. I saw him doing it in the Champions League game against Inter earlier this year and I saw him doing it in tonight's game. It's disgusting and he disgusts me. Basta.

I am looking forward to Sweden's next game against Russia. If we manage to win that game we'll most probably face Holland in the quarterfinals, just like the last European Championship four years ago. The only difference is that they are much better today than they were four years ago, and we are not as sharp today as we were then.

What defines one's nationality?

The first week is now over. It's Friday night but that doesn't really mean anything. January will be one of those months when too many things attract my attention and keep me from seeing how time passes.

I've had a cool day though. I have studied a little but I haven't exactly been working my ass off. I've been distracted by some shit at PFDC lately. Here's the story.

There's this Iranian footballer in the Swedish league, Behrang Safari who quickly has become one of the better players on his position. He was recently awarded with a berth in the Swedish national team in some upcoming friendlies in North America. Unfortunately, Behrang was interrogated at the airport where the Swedish national team was changing flights. He was stuck there for 2 hours and missed the plane with the other players on it. It's usually common that Iranians are "interviewed" like this after 9/11 and all the other problems going on in the Mid East. So far so good.


Here's the annoying thing. Behrang said in an interview (that I myself did with him last summer!) that he would join the national team that calls him up first. That means that if the officials at the Iranian football federation (which is a mess at the moment with a new president) would have called Behrang up for one of the many worthless friendlies against Arab teams, he would most likely accept that invitation and become an Iranian international player. Behrang was never called up by Iran, and I completely understand him when he accepted the invite from Sweden's headcoach Lars Lagerbäck. I mean who would turn down an invitation from a national team in order to wait for another one (that might not even come...)? It's stupid!
Now, people are going around calling Behrang all different kinds of things. Traitor, Swede (as if that is something negative) Iran hater and other nasty things. The funny thing here is that these kids (99 % of them) don't even live inside Iran. Most of them can't even read or write Farsi! Now they're preaching all kinds of stupid things about patriotism, nationalism and pride. Well, spare us please! Have you ever heard of Zlatan Ibrahimovic before?


Henrik Larsson? Zinedine Zidane (one of the biggest players of all time)?


It upsets me that people don't see this in a distanced and nuanced way. Some people see the world in only black and white.
Enough about that.

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I have an exam tomorrow afternoon. The coming weeks are as I mentioned earlier, pretty tanked. But what the fuck, it's not the first time. I've had the wonderful opportunity to enjoy inhuman stress during the past 6 months, so I'll be a big boy and suck it up.

Good night.