Sunday, June 28, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Reflections
Some time has passed since my last post and a lot of thoughts have been running through my head (as usual). Life never stops to stun me. Even when I think that I have reached the zenith (regardless if it's deep or high), I always find myself falling further down or taking off ever higher. Do you get it?
A typical Swedish saying tells us that "An accident seldom comes alone". I couldn't agree more. It's difficult to know what to feel and how to feel. I have been "spoiled" with disappointments and difficulties for a very long time, and I think it's unfair. I try to keep my head up and to live "normally".
I am to face a difficult challenge shortly. I will have to go through a period of time that I don't want to enter. Still I have no choice. I am living in a constant struggle against things I don't want to be exposed to. It might sound as self pitying but it isn't.
I feel even more alienated when I look at how I see things in life compared to those around me. It's as if deviances from my way of seeing things occur in every direction I turn. It feels strange and confusing, and the question is if I am the one with a need of a perspective or if it is people around me that need to ask themselves questions like how and why.
Our brief time on this planet should teach us all one thing above everything else; To enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Worrying is an inefficient tool against problems and obstacles in life. But it isn't that easy. It is not just about black and white.
Moving on is one of the most difficult challenges I have faced. Not only in terms of forgetting and living happily, but about daring to hope for changes, about daring to encounter the past without fearing of losing the present. I'm afraid of losing both sometimes.
A typical Swedish saying tells us that "An accident seldom comes alone". I couldn't agree more. It's difficult to know what to feel and how to feel. I have been "spoiled" with disappointments and difficulties for a very long time, and I think it's unfair. I try to keep my head up and to live "normally".
I am to face a difficult challenge shortly. I will have to go through a period of time that I don't want to enter. Still I have no choice. I am living in a constant struggle against things I don't want to be exposed to. It might sound as self pitying but it isn't.
I feel even more alienated when I look at how I see things in life compared to those around me. It's as if deviances from my way of seeing things occur in every direction I turn. It feels strange and confusing, and the question is if I am the one with a need of a perspective or if it is people around me that need to ask themselves questions like how and why.
Our brief time on this planet should teach us all one thing above everything else; To enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Worrying is an inefficient tool against problems and obstacles in life. But it isn't that easy. It is not just about black and white.
Moving on is one of the most difficult challenges I have faced. Not only in terms of forgetting and living happily, but about daring to hope for changes, about daring to encounter the past without fearing of losing the present. I'm afraid of losing both sometimes.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
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