New chapter

It's Sunday (boooooring) and one week left before my departure back to Austria for the last three weeks of the winter semester of 2009/2010.

Like I have mentioned in previous posts, 2009 passed very quickly. It is surreal that the second decade of this century (and millennium) just began.
2010 will hopefuly be a better year than 2009. I will hopefully not have to fight for my life much more. I will hopefully be surrounded by people that I enjoy being around.

2010 will maybe be everything that 2009 failed to be. Maybe. In a global perspective, 2010 will perhaps be a year like all other. I find it very hard to believe that world peace will prevail during this year. I find it hard to believe that major conflicts will be solved during the coming twelve months. Even if the world might improve its financial condition after the recent financial crisis, I seriously don't think that this year will be recorded in the books of history as a unique time period. Maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm just being realistic.

I seriously don't think that the polarization and confrontation(s) in the world will decrease or stagnate during this year, I simply think that we haven't seen the end of certain things yet. There have been some common trends in Europe the past few years and I think that these trends will continue and develop further. For instance, I don't think we've seen the end of right extremism yet, and I don't think that we've seen the end of religious fanaticism yet either. Facebook groups against refugees are popping up like mushrooms, political parties reveal their politically "incorrect" agendas and surprisingly, the number of people embracing these agendas seem to increase day by day. It's sad to see this development and it's sad to see how fear and phobia is marking the European continent. Maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm just being realistic.

In a more individual and private perspective I see the new year as normal with some exceptions. I am pretty convinced that this year will not be a year when old friends return and relations are retained. Everybody is simply too busy for such nonsense. This will be a year like all other, when we take each other (and each others' existence) for granted. We procrastinate and neglect instead of embracing and respect. Maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm just being realistic.

In six months it has passed four years since I graduated from high school. So many things have happened during these four years. It feels more like eight years than four. I have met so many people from different parts of the world. I have changed enormously as an individual during these four years, and I feel more estranged and alienated with myself and my previous "me" than ever. Not only with myself but also with most of the people I used to know. When something significant takes place in your life, something that changes your life either to better or worse, you find yourself relating to yourself and your life in terms of "before" and "after" this change. My rear view mirror is still very large, not much time has passed since I had my significant experience that divided my life into two testaments. The old testament is a closed chapter, it's a chapter with a lot of people that I intend to keep there. I don't want to waste anymore time consciously on people that are not worth it. I want to spend my time with those that really mean something to me, especially those who stood by me when I went through the most difficult time of my life. Maybe I'm being unfair, maybe I'm being harsh, maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm just being realistic.